I think it’s only right that crazy people should have their own city

… but I cannot for the life of me see why a sane person would want to go there.” – Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent.

Everything they say about Hollywood is true. But you don’t really understand it until you go there and try to keep up with the nonstop talk about “the industry.” It’s exhausting!

Nonetheless, my weekend with Liz in LA was fantastic. Los Angeles may not be the place for me, but Liz and I had a great time, as usual, and, though we didn’t get in quite as much trouble as we might have, we laughed so much it didn’t make a difference!

A few highlights:

- having lunch at the Newsroom Cafe in Beverly Hills with Mena Suvari (OK, she was at the next table), who eats like (and is approximately the size of) a bird. We also saw Ali Larter of NBC’s Heroes (she looks like a normal size on TV, but she has some major toothpick legs in person. Personally, I’d rather eat), among other assorted celebrities that I did not recognize and/or had never heard of.

- On-site filming of My Name is Earl at some middle school. Joel’s client is a writer for the show. I did recognize Jason Lee, thankyouverymuch. Lesson learned: it takes one hour, and approximately 25 people (including a director/producer who is texting on his Blackberry the whole time, and some other girl whose job, apparently, was to yell “Quiet!” and knit a scarf) to film a 15-second segment.

- Seeing Pan’s Labrinth on the big screen at The ArcLight. It is very much the Lord of the Rings for girls. Except a little too bloody and scary. Go see it. Now. Go.

- the best sushi I’ve ever had, among the most douchebags ever to inhabit one room, in Brentwood

- Dinner at Asia de Cuba and then to Skybar (yes, that’s a pool in the bar) on the Sunset Strip. Both of which I’m supposed to have heard of before, because they are big celebrity haunts, I guess? :shrug: They should give a medal to whoever dreamed up wasabi mashed potatoes. Or putting avocado in fried rice.

- hiking Runyon Canyon (where they give free yoga classes outdoor every day!) with eight million dogs everywhere

- The Bar Method class, an awful combination of ballet, Pilates, and boot camp, run by the hottest, gayest straight man I’ve ever met. “Tuck, tuck, wide, wide! Tuck, tuck, wide, wide!” It was a little very dirty, and the most painful exercise I’ve done in a long time.

- driving through the ghetto to USC for the ICCA show. The sound technician told Liz the sound check was closed, to which Liz fires back, “Um, do you know who I’m sleeping with? Ever heard of a group called The Brown Derbies? Hm? Maybe the CARA awards? A little Downeaster Alexa?” Man she’s a riot.

- sharing the world’s largest peanut butter Captain Crunch pancakes with a very handsome Indian. If I wasn’t a taken woman … wink wink.

And, of course, gelato and teenyboppers on the Santa Monica Promenade. There was a wacko “witnessing” to a small crowd and giving the most roundabout, illogical answers to questions about the basic tenets of Christianity. He had a sign that announced his offer of $250,000 to anyone who could provide empirical evidence for evolution. He also had this sign, which I had to photograph for everybody’s favorite athiest, Ben:

Booyeah! How can you argue with that kind of statement?

All in all, a fantastic trip, with great friends and generous, thoughtful hosts.  I am lucky to have such great friends. Thank you, Liz and Joel!!